I shake awake in the night;
Hate burning white through sleeping eyes…
I can’t take away all the pain,
The consuming blame –
Read me, see me: the smiling face of shame…
I can’t paint the picture right…
My colors fade,
Strokes don’t catch the light.
What’s my name?
I exist inside the stampede of the sheep
How am I such an indistinguishable beast?
As it turns out, I’m the same as the rest
My heart still beats right here in my chest;
Just not the same as before, I guess.
In reality – there’s open space;
Gulping up the Human race, insatiably feeding…
Not once disbelieving.
And then there’s me, unsure where or who to be;
Unclear on how to think, can’t find the rest of me.
I’m alive and not living – cut off by constraints
ratcheted tightly round my limbs,
Tucked cleverly away beneath
Any surface that I am able to see;
Hidden just enough to discourage everything about me.