my hero americana

When One of Your Heroes Thinks The Same of YOU…



When I first opened my blog up and started writing about Boo – she was still missing at the time (again, I should say) and I was likely the closest I’ve ever come to pure insanity, there was a person who seemed to reply to most of my heart-achingly honest and obvious hopelessness. In all truth – if I’m going to be honest here with this post – I initially opened my blog because I wanted to write down my own versions of things for my estranged, delinquent daughter to read someday, after I had given up on the entirety of the situation that we are held hostage by and removed myself, somehow. I wrote down all of the most shameful and regrettable parts of my trials in motherhood that I’ve never been able to tell her myself, for various reasons, simply entertaining the idea that one day Boo might find closure of some sort from this blog and it’s content, if she ever comes back around close enough to catch it.

There was this one follower – this Cyber-Saint of a human, who is the type of Survivor that my beloved Triple S is: A Nurturer. This blogger was my third follower, and has been with me (seems like most of the posts I make, she’s there to validate me somehow, even with issues that I was certain no other human being has ever struggled with) SHE’S TITANIUM in my personal blogosphere. Staunch. Solid. Respectable and brutally honest in her own recovery from abuses so unimaginable and long-lasting that I often find myself wondering how it’s even possible that she’s able to offer such unwavering support to others who write of similar experiences and their lasting effects. She was that one HUMAN BEING who SINGLEHANDEDLY got through to me in regard to my hopelessness as the grieving and helpless Mother to a highly self-destructive and unruly teenaged daughter. MANDY has been the one to renew my once-fading HOPE for something – anything – better to look ahead for when it comes to my relationship (or lack, there of) with my only child. A few months ago, Mandy sent me a link to the page she maintains called Heroes in My Garden on her blog; and I was dumbfounded to find my own name among the bloggers whom she’s helping to grow there in that special garden of true Survival.

It wasn’t until last night sometime, as I lay awake in the grips of my beloved insomnia and the zillions of thoughts that it streams through my tired mind, that the garden finally made sense to me – that her intentions behind it are so GOOD and NURTURING – it brought me tears in the dark, all alone.

Mandy is conveying her own projection of healing and nurturing to the many broken bloggers that she stumbles across in her reading here on WordPress; she has created a cyber garden in which she can “plant” people she feels are worth the effort and help them to “grow” through her natural gift of NURTURE.

She is most certainly one of my most admirable HEROES too – in more ways than I could even begin to describe in words. Honestly, she gave me a thread to hold onto when I first arrived in the blogosphere, and she has helped that  thread grow into a thick and calloused vine over time.

This is my THANK YOU to a VERY POWERFUL SURVIVOR in my recovery and ongoing survival process – MANDY of HEALING BEYOND SURVIVAL.

No Mandy, YOU are MY HERO....

No Mandy, YOU are MY HERO….

31 thoughts on “Impact.

  1. […] Injustica recently published a blog post titled Impact. Americana Injustica was one of the first people to hit like on my blog and to reblog my post […]


  2. D.G.Kaye says:

    What a lovely post to commend one who has traveled a turbulent road herself, yet has hands that haven’t withered in strength to pull someone else up. I have only befriended Mandy over a month ago and am proud to know her, as well as thrilled to have been placed in her sacred garden. 🙂 Inspiration is powerful.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Robbie says:

    I am sorry for your hardships but I agree Mandy is a hero-she is mine:-) I went through a hardship with my middle child, I hope things get better….and if it helps, it did for me:-) Time is the best healer of all–you are blessed that Mandy is there-she is amazing:-) And all they say about her above-is true!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Cat says:

    The thing about Mandy…. she tends her garden (of hero’s) with such loving care, with nourishment and sunlight. Lovely post… her cruel mother was evidently wrong!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. nicciattfield says:

    Mandy has a bravery and courage which is truly inspiring. And she’s kind enough to encourage others too. I too respect her deeply.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. W. K. Tucker says:

    Mandy is a sweetheart through and through. And loyal. And a survivor. And strong. And a woman I’d want to have my back in a bad situation. She nurtures all of us here who are twisted and broken up inside. I hope we give back to her at least a little of all she gives to us.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. bdlheart says:

    Reblogged this on bdlheart and commented:
    Americana Injustica recently published a blog post titled Impact. Americana Injustica was one of the first people to hit like on my blog and to reblog my post Getting my Smart Mouth Cleaned Out with Dawn Soap. Her comments have encouraged me to continue blogging, and especially to reach out into the blogosphere, no matter how gradual the process. PTSD at its worst turned me into a prisoner in my own home. Despite, my past I generally like people and can have an outgoing personally given the right situation. The worst of my PTSD seems to have passed. I don’t isolate myself in my house too often anymore. I’ve went back to work full-time. I’ve learned how to manage it, yet I still struggle to open up to people, especially strangers. BDLheart was hard to start and I doubted myself many of times along the way. This inspiring post about Americana Injustica’s initial encounter with Mandy in the blogosphere shows the power of words and human connection. I especially loved Mandy’s flower garden. I feel blessed to have discovered such a unique group of survivors. Hugs to my fellow survivors.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. mandy says:

    Reblogged this on Healing Beyond Survival and commented:
    I saw this post in the Reader—how could I miss it, it was one of my Heroes In My Garden! (When you look up SURVIVOR you’ll see a picture of her.) I started reading and then started crying. It was about ME. I told her I wanted to re-blog it so you could all see why I put her in my garden, but I didn’t want to be in the limelight. Here is (verbatim) what she said: “Re-blog it! Say, “LOOK AT HOW I SURVIVED!!! Look At HOW VERY FUCKING WRONG my Mother was ALL ALONG ABOUT WHO I WAS DESTINED TO BE ONE DAY!!!” So folks, this how I survived. By meeting the likes of Americana Injustica.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. mandy says:

    Oh my Americana Injustica. It’s taken me all day to process this post. Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine someone writing these words about ME. Having lived a mostly isolated (agoraphobic?) existence, believing the prophecy of my mother’s words “You’ve ruined everything you’ve ever touched AND ALWAYS WILL” were true, I’ve avoided connecting with people. And then I started blogging. And the likes of YOU came along. How I loved your no tolerance for bullshit, your sailor mouth, and the goodness of a heart so so hurt. I love you girl. If i had a sister it would be you. I want to reblog this because I want everyone to know you, but I don’t want to say hey look at ME! I’ll figure it out. ♥

    Liked by 3 people

  10. tric says:

    Wow what a fantastic idea. Mandy sounds like an amazing person.
    I have a blog friend whose daughter died at 20, two years ago. She is a very spiritual person and followed me while young Daniel was sick. Her comments always hit the spot and her offers of healing and spiritual thinking helped me so much. Prior to ‘knowing’ her I’d have thought all that was baloney.
    Isn’t it amazing how blogging and writing helps. I can never forget the fantastic letter you contributed to my ‘series of letters’.
    Lovely post in tribute to your blog friend.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. disconcerted72 says:

    This is a beautiful post, and I can’t imagine the honor your friend must feel for the admiration you have of her.

    I came across your blog recently, of course, and I was awestruck at how raw it is. It gives a glimpse of some massive struggles that a lot of people would’t have the fortitude to get through and yet on some level, those people would be able to come here and find some cathatric measure of dealing with life…
    …and obviously, your friend has that gift, as well.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 3 people

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