“Why don’t you just come over here and watch a movie with me?”
The bitch in me answered aloud in response as I read the text message:
“Because I don’t really feel like becoming your piece of ass for the night, you Narcissistic Fuck…”
Instead of responding with such truths, I instead opted to wait for over an hour before finally replying with:
“I’m good. Thanks.”
The Opportunist doesn’t give up easily when he wants to prove a point to himself; I know this about him, I know him well – we lived together for over a year not long ago, me and him…I believe that he has already somehow managed to forget this reality as a mechanism of his Narcissism; which is okay with me because it only reaffirms everything I have already concluded about who he turned out to be. It confirms the fact that despite everything I once poured into the Opportunist, in his mind – I remain as nothing more than the expendable naked body in his cold bed at night when he’s lonely.
Don’t get me wrong, I am certain that during our time “together”, he was not fucking other women – I know where he slept every night back then. This was pretty much another factor that hurt me deeply at the end of our time “together”, the realization that after being with (only) me for such a chunk of time, he was so able and willing to just pack up and move on without a second thought when he DID decide to fuck someone else. I do not have a drama-queen bone in my body, truly. So when this all went down in flames, I did what I always do when I get abandoned: swallowed down my pain and stepped into the blaze to walk myself through it somehow.
There were no late night call to him, begging him to come back or to see me…there were no discussions with his best friends (who I happen to be closely tied in various contexts) behind his back about what a piece of shit he is…there were no plans to sabotage his newly rekindled love affair with his despicable ex (who just got out of Club Fed for Corporate Fraud). There was just TRUTH. That’s all there is left between me and the Opportunist any more, is the ugly truth of what he is at the end of the day, every day.
I did not ask him to give me this courtesy; I would have (sadly, but in truth) been okay with continuing the bullshit façade that we had going because I have abandonment issues and they affect my love life in these fucked up ways…but he opted to show his ugly face to me…and I had to respond accordingly a that point. He left me no options on that score. We have been apart now for over six months, without contact until recently when he dropped out of nowhere with apologies and offerings; batting his crystal blue eyes with long lashes at me because he knows my weaknesses and he plays on them to an obvious degree.
I am smarter than that; is all I can think of to say to him, after all. I am bigger than that, and deserve much more than to be a meaningless piece of ass. That’s about all I know for sure when it comes to the Opportunist these days. I have recognized.