Deflation.

“Hope is a good breakfast but a bad supper.”
~ W. Rawley

When you have a daughter like mine, this is the element that destroys you:
The incurable death wish that transcends even a hole in her own throat; Boo left the hospital last night at some point with an unknown couple and has not returned.
Granted, it is her M.O. to disappear from a recovery unit in the hospital, she has always done that. But never before has she had something as serious as a tracheotomy to worry about. She was notably struggling to breathe in the hospital – what is she going through out there? I don’t understand…I don’t believe it…but I am forced to accept the fact that she intended it. She apparently walked out by her own free will once again. She likes to think that she knows everything and has it all under control, somehow…and…well, we have all seen how well she keeps things under control…
So once again, as of the instant I woke up this morning:
My heart has disappeared to an unknown location outside of my body but still pumps and beats painfully.

inked us 2015

10 thoughts on “Deflation.

  1. acquiescent72 says:

    Here is a hug for you.

    I know this requires you to be strong, yet again, but I know that there are those that will hold you up too!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Who is the unknown couple? Someone came to pick her up, let’s hope that, that was only her free will to go…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The right words escape me right now, I can only pray for a miracle and feel how my heart breaks for you today.. But I won’t give up hope for you both. I wish you peace knowing you have done everything within your power, based in love. I also pray she finds her self worth&esteem while she searches for that elusive place in her head and heart and soul. ᕙ(💓▿💓)ᕗ

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Erica Herd says:

    I hope you hear from her soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. ilyasstory says:

    May you find peace today. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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