Now.

I’ve been going to bed earlier and waking up later…I have somehow allowed myself to detach again…I couldn’t tell you how such a thing is even possible, considering everything that has happened and likely continues to happen in the world from which I have detached…but I have, and it is.
My feelings are not hurting now, not in the slightest; my senses are as far from sharpened or honed as is humanly possible; my thoughts are grey and soggy; my heartbeat exists quietly in the background noise of everything; my memories seemingly evaporating with slow certainty.
But I’ve been here before, it’s not some recovery set out at the edge of the woods; it’s not the end or the beginning of anything else; it’s just how I get through the unbelievable, it’s how I bear the unbearable, and it’s the only thing I know how to embrace without fear anymore.

9 thoughts on “Now.

  1. Reblogged this on georgeforfun and commented:

    Prayers, warm thoughts and hugs. 💞

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry my friend. Sending love your way. x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. sfarnell says:

    It sounds like youre trying to repair. I hope you grt the peace youre after ☺

    Liked by 1 person

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