“Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul.”
— Marcus Aurelius

Knock knock knock
The constant tap at my bones
Phone and doorbell ringing
Can’t you see there’s no one home?
I don’t care to talk
See me drag my feet along
inbox and voicemail overflow
Don’t you see that I’m withdrawn?
My own voice brings a shock
I hate its dead and hollow tone
I wish you could recognize
My need to suffer this alone
Buzz Ring buzz ring
a constantly vibrating phone
Each day it rings more clearly
how peace will never come
A steam kettle whistling
The sound of my nerves boiling
I need some space to retreat
Before I blow, and cease to be
Why is it that everybody
takes my status personally?
I’m just tending to my wounds
I am not in your shoes
and you don’t stand in these
Don’t sit there feeling high
and please don’t minimize
the extent of my suffering
There’s no other way to say it
its best to let me be
no magic trick can change it
or what it does to me
But in the interim between
the pressure from it
becomes maddening
I know myself well enough
I know where this can lead
and it won’t end up anywhere
if I’m not there, respectively
because I have no space
Keep on acting this way
ignore what I convey
don’t take me seriously
just continue to call anyway
and forcing your ways
over whatever I try to say
only pushes me further away.

6 thoughts on “Shhhhhhhh.

  1. Rita says:

    Oh how I relate!

  2. Lori Carlson says:

    Powerful! I can relate so well to this!