Wake-up Call.

I am plagued by “night terrors” in a bad way sometimes; and seemingly at random. Of course, nothing is at random when it comes to the intricacies of the human psyche, however…this, I know. This morning, I awoke with the layer of jello-like sweat from head to toe, the image still singed freshly into my mind, my heart pounding as if it will come right through my aching rib-cage. I look around me in complete confusion and disarray, unsure at first which direction to swing my fists in – so I just swing wildly around me in frustration.

The strange man whom I had just watched slide a knife into my daughter’s head as she screamed bloody murder was nowhere to be found in my room; nor was my daughter of course.

This was at 5:49am and my skin stills crawls; my heart still hurts itself as it thumps against my chest; my mind still searches for someone to receive my wrath and vengeance, someone to protect or rescue.

I fucking hate it.

13 thoughts on “Wake-up Call.

  1. tric says:

    I know those dreams. Not for my child or children but my abuser laughing in my face and worse. Living the day with that memory is as so difficult, living ‘normally’ but remembering the dream as if it really happened.
    I only got them in bursts, a few nghts in a row and then a break. Hope you’re okay.

  2. The counting sheep are liable for a few hits, they have insurance!

  3. I get rattled sometimes all day sometimes. You have my sympathy.

  4. Captain Q says:

    Sending positive vibes your way

  5. me says:

    Keep swinging girlfriend, those fists will connect with the thing they’re supposed to eventually !! … love and hugs to you xo

  6. Awful. I used to get them. Call them my ‘screaming dreams’