Shadow Boxer.

I’ve made this elaborate plan,

twisted it around all that I am;

in the clutches of a weakened hand,

in the trenches of a war-torn land;

various feelings I don’t comprehend,

strangely flowing through my system;

creeping insidiously toward a resolution,

shifting deeply toward my brainstem;

I’ve set these goals in my dark mind,

to slice away the ties that bind;

to execute the hostage after all this time,

set fire to all things I’ve guarded with my Life;

watch it burn and crumble in such a losing fight,

cut my nose clean off the face of my own spite;

see the way I falter as Life punches out my lights,

see the misery that is my only true birth right.

 

13 thoughts on “Shadow Boxer.

  1. Empowering thoughts at their finest!

  2. doubtpuppet says:

    Love this kind of poetry – it really reminds me how I’ve written about OCD(sorry to sound like a broken f’ing record with that but it’s true). I get some of the metaphors cos I aim for the same kind of things. I probably don’t get them all though cos I’m notoriously shite with metaphor!
    With that in mind, ahem, I thought mayebe the last bit was about you stopping responding to the PTSD the way you normally would and letting it run its course. i.e. a therapeutic tool for letting the fear wash overr you without reacting(a bit like ERP therapy) – to the sufferer it feels like defeat, giving in, but if it can be endured, it can lead to benefits – like freeing the hostage, severing the bonds.
    Also shadow boxer is a great metaphor for PTSD(and OCD “Shut up about OCD already!!!” “OK! jeez”).
    So yeah, rockin good poem. Sweet picture too.