Ticking Defeat.

I feel too afraid to make inquiry,

To reach out beyond the surface of things,

I feel as if I’m pondering constantly,

the choice you made to strike and sting,

the voice you’ve quieted again so silently,

because of the long denied inability,

to exist in the realm of true honesty,

and survive in your own skin comfortably;

I feel too afraid to accept what I see,

as if my acceptance would mean a damn thing,

the days keep coming in a form of mockery,

the sun still rises and sets ever-carelessly,

a reminder hanging perpetually over me,

that Life doesn’t end with the end of a family;

Hell, it’s just the first round of the same beginning,

curtains drawn up to expose the stupidity,

certain to show all with a keen familiarity,

of the very worst parts built into my being,

I feel too afraid to walk the crime scene,

my feet sticking to the bloody memories,

heart ticking so loudly it sounds like defeat,

kicking and screaming and ever-questioning.

4 thoughts on “Ticking Defeat.

  1. You are more amazing than you might realize.
    I just had the urge to say that.