I do not completely, and in every way fear you –
Not in the way that he threw a curse upon me to;
I still get warmed up by that appeal, so real and true;
A truth he failed to forever ruin with shades of black and blue.
I’m not so afraid of you – that I have no tendencies, no intrigue;
My body yearns for good sex to magically collide with me;
My brain gradually accepts and digests my life’s reality;
It’s a string of unknown variables: somehow bound to my own destiny.
What I find in a mirror – won’t let my brain truly perceive;
Along with so many pieces of my own history,
I’m a toddler again without a reason to believe;
My environment feels so profoundly abstract and obscene.
The good and the bad – patches of skin: paisley and plaid;
I spent so many tear drops that I now wish I still had;
To cry over the stabs at my womb and the kicks to my head –
There will be time to be held “hostage” when I’m dead.
Unrealistic, sadistic, chauvinistic lovers –
Sociopathic in the street and Pornographic in the covers
But then again, my position in the dark-lit corner;
Not really caring if you do or do not choose to stroll over –
I survived the same ways as anyone else alive;
I can only convey the things that my spirit and soul imply;
I have accepted the truth and jumped over the side;
welcoming the Unknown through a perfected swan dive.