Introspectivity.

It always starts out with,
that involuntary twitch,
eyes popping,
nervous rocking,
hard to catch my breath;

This much accursed gift,
heart haywire, mind adrift,
engine sputter,
pulse aflutter,
can’t run away from it;

A sand that’s too fine to sift,
these hands: too broken to lift,
no motivation,
slow salvation,
beyond a dark, longstanding rift;

Steaming piles of shit,
line my pathway to its pit,
a one way road,
on the map I hold,
of a soul that’s counterfeit.

Sunrise and ADHD.

What does this morning’s dawning want to bring to me?
I could wash the wood floors, or climb a tall tree;
I could force myself to get my lab work done, finally;
Or I could sit on the beach and get stoned, like I want to be.

Maybe I’ll go hide in the library…
I can read my favorite books endlessly;
Surprise Sensei Han when I show up for karate;
Or just sit on my ass at my desk and write poetry.

Perhaps I will lead, in high speed – at the racetrack, again;
Or maybe shit some overpriced ammo down the drain;
I could always go hiking and get lost in the rain;
I’m partial to the idea of a tattoo gun’s special pain.

Today might be the day I dive for abalone;
Or decide to set my family of society finches free;
I just never know what’s in store for me;
With a mind so confined by its A.D.H.D.

Halfway Shiny.

I hear the steps,
of someone Vader-esque,
around the doorframe,
pops a puzzled,
curious, questioning face;
the stoner familiarity,
of my jovial roommate,
“wasn’t there something…”
he points a finger at me,
“…that you were doing?”
“Huh?”
I am elsewhere mentally,
reading a book about TIG welding;
“Don’t be a bump on a log…”
he snaps his fingers past me,
“Hello? Anyone there?”
I sit up in my chair, attentively –
and flash my brain back,
through the last hour that’s left me;
“Oh schnapp! I’m such a dingbat!”
and I leap up from my seat,
to go finish the task,
left unfinished by me,
the dining room floor was left:
only halfway shiny,
I must have been interrupted,
by my own train of thinking,
somehow I wound up outside gardening,
before going to my room,
where Vader Steps found me;
“You know, you’d forget your head,
if it weren’t attached back onto your body…”
“I’m focused – quit bothering me,
if you want this floor finished, at least.”
He shakes his head and walks away,
his Vader Steps loudly echoing,
I guess I chalk another one
up to my fucking ADHD.

Whispers.

wtf you lookin at

A small boxed room, hardly lit by the flame through the gloom;
It doesn’t matter though – my hands can still to touch you;
A freezing cold place, everywhere besides your hands and face;
This heat from our bodies warms up the remaining space…

A tangle of linens and clothes, tan lines and scars exposed;
A bead of sweat rolls slowly down the bridge of your nose;
It’s been time to ride these things out, now the secret is out;
There wasn’t much left between us to wonder about…

And so now -here we are, somewhere under the stars;
The day was spent being blessed on my every scar;
It can’t be fought off or sent anywhere else now;
Your fingers grip tightly and my walls all fall down…

There’s nothing to fear, these are your senses right here;
I don’t want to run and you have no desire to disappear;
Let’s just stay then, forget it all – fuck all of them;
I don’t want to go back to the city or to the Reservation…

I’d be happiest I’d venture to guess;
If I stay curled up in a ball on your chest;
And things could stay so calmly this way, every time – always;
I’ll eat your whispers like food to my soul ‘til that day…