Given the strange and very out of the ordinary weather spell that California is currently experiencing, I am off to the beach today to surf, swim and get my saline fix. And, since I know that NOT everyone is receiving the same kiss from Mother Nature as we are, I wanted to spill some sunshine on my blog for all to share.
Not sure how many times we will have to go over these things… but here we are, again…
- Once a snake, always a snake. This is the naturally embedded law of the Universe, you KNOW this. Why do you struggle so?
- Moisturize! Moisturize! Moisturize! You’re lookin’ beat up.
- Just because sea lions “play” with you in the water sometimes, doesn’t mean that they:
- a) actually like you.
- b) will remember you on land.
- You need to look into what turns you into an instant asshole on the beach, it’s very unbecoming. Not everyone is at home in the water.
- Continuing to hold on to the notion that you still look good in your swimsuit from over four seasons ago is doing you no justice.
- You are paranoid; this is a fact; act accordingly.
- You do not have to publish every piece of poetry that you pen.
- Sometimes, it’s just better to eat the Gods’ damned casserole and then either retch or digest afterwards. You lost out on $50, dumbass.
- Perception is key; the key to a door which you may or may not want to unlock and swing open, depending on the circumstance.
- Fuck you. Yes, you are wearing the bridesmaid’s dress and cfmp’s…it’s your brother’s wedding for fuck sake. Suck it up and be a girl once in a while, “it’s good for you”, so they say…