I see the familiar namesake,
it’s held close to the core of my being,
I feel the familiar heartache,
as I walk closer to this namesake I see;
there are feelings tugging inside of me,
laughter – tears – pure tragedy,
I whisper hello and sit down beside,
the headstone I’m reading with pride;
I hate to come to this place of despair,
but long to somehow feel somewhat near,
to the brother I once buried here,
to the one who’s death lingers so vividly,
imparted onto the soul of me,
imprinted into my darkest memories,
impressed upon my happiest childhood scenes;
and here, is where you now remain,
a headstone lettered by your name,
without mention of what your life could’ve been,
without question that you’ll stay in this place;
I see a young smile, missing front teeth,
a 5th grader with double-scraped knees,
a handsome teenager too timid to speak,
my fiercest protector on the neighborhood streets,
but the thing I can’t shake from my mind,
is how you opted to leave me wondering why,
cursing myself through the sleepless nights,
for the way you ended your tender life.