Staggering Cruelty.

Yesterday, I was called “so cruel” as to be “staggering to the mind” of the person who chose to voice such a mean-spirited thing to me right now. I was called cruel because I carved out the next few days completely for my mom; so that I will not have to worry about juggling or racing around to fulfill commitments I’ve made to anybody besides my mom. Upon being called cruel in this context yesterday, I realized something quite clearly:

If being with my mother as she lives out the end of her life equates to my own cruelty towards a single person other than her, so fucking be it. I have dread this circumstance for my entire existence, and it has finally come to meet me, to take her away forever. I may be a self-absorbed bitch for ignoring any and all of my other connections to other human beings at present, but that’s the way my crumbly cookie has fallen apart

I am 110% pre-occupied with my mom’s situation, and if that is abnormal – – – shoot me; and then, go fuck yourself real good.

Kill Switch.

You touch me here;
I’ll touch you there;
I’ll close my eyes,
and you disappear;
this is my heart,
you Fucking Liar;
you said you wouldn’t
go any fucking where.

I’ll tell you this;
you’ll tell me that –
I’ll turn a cheek,
to the bullshit you spat;
so casually envenomed,
in your whispered chit-chat;
you blessed me by leaving,
what do you think of that?

I blow your mind;
you blow all of my money;
It kills me the way,
Life treats me so funny;
While I spend my dime,
to have you gobble my time,
you treat me like I must be,
a dingbat named ‘Bambi’ or ‘Bunny’.

You’ll chase after me;
and I’ll run away;
Don’t all “relationships”,
start and finish this way?
When all’s said and done,
at the end of the day;
Just hit the kill switch,
be quick – and walk away.