When you begin to hate someone who previously carried positive weight in your life, the world temporarily turns grey.
Things start to feel skewed and look grotesque.
Nothings seems to make you smile or laugh as before, nothing seems funny.
The world has changed inside of you, is changing inside of you.
You have no control over the darkening or lightening of the shades that the grey blankets over and around your life. You just have to snuggle in this blanket.
You just have to keep yourself enveloped at any cost.
There is nothing else for it.
Well, I almost managed to get out of bed today and get dressed and go to Thanksgiving dinner at my non-orphan roommate’s lovely parents’…but the closer the time to going got, the less I wanted to do shit besides smoke myself retarded…which is essentially what I ended up doing again this year for Turkey Day. I’m fine with that. I like time alone.