We had drawn up this road map so grand,
the highlighted route to the ending we planned,
the flutter of cards as they dropped out of hand,
the calling of Gods in dreams we understand;
poor odds follow close, wherever I am,
fleeting as granules of time-whitened sand
fickle and pickled in the spices at hand,
between promise and oneness,
that same ol’ ominous numbness,
parlor tricks performed in a deserted land;
peopled with embodied nothingness,
void of all the sugary fluffiness,
where you are is ever where I am,
when I’m asleep that’s how it stands,
I dig in the deep with my polished hands,
driven mad by a fiendish hologram;
dropped from the attached strings,
to your heart’s working guillotine,
you never came back for me,
left me miserably, deservedly
just as I am.
I will kneel at the feet of the man or the beast,
depending on which one has his teeth sunk into me…
and when the lips peel back upwards,
to bear the double edged,
dripping red, set of razor teeth…
only then, can be determined,
which one I’m currently worshiping.
I can blend myself in with the white or red skin,
belonging to either clan through a split blood relation…
and when the day has ended,
to become the grey-scaled,
chain-mailed, cell of my own prison…
the only way that I’m able to stay,
shine light on what’s mine once again.
I can keep up still, alongside the fin or the gill,
towing my heaviest anchor and its affected blood-trail…
and when the buoy’s been rounded,
to become blinded once again,
the line of vision, breaths get exhaled…
the single-handed curse:
my belovedly bled best friend.
I know you’ve made the effort,
to fish me out and throw me aloft,
you’ve been on belay for a decade,
awaiting the tension on my end to let off,
you typically would never bother with,
hand-holding of the incompetent,
you have no patience or tolerance,
with things that lean to your detriment,
yet somehow your open palmed hand,
remains out to me, wherever I am,
even if I don’t know where I stand,
the bear blazes trails to the lamb,
I probably disappoint your mind,
and let your spirit down all the time,
I probably don’t very well epitomize,
the things you stand for in my own eyes,
I guess I feel heavy against your soaring flight,
like a weight on your ankle without any right,
I want you to achieve the dreams in your life,
with both of your hands free to win the fight,
you’ll need both hands to accept the trophies,
to stab at the person breaking and entering,
to sign checks, breaks necks with your badassery,
keep your hands free from the mess known as me.
from one dead soldier,
to another –
from one dawning sun,
to the moonlight –
let’s get fucked up tonight;
this life’s been hard,
hard as fuck to survive,
let the tears fall,
my friend –
through it all;
fighting back to back,
through the fires
of living Hell…
to all of our times alive,
to our many defeated
victories stacked up high;
a key that we found
in the enemy’s pocket,
a while back –
we both knew what it unlocked,
and so it was tossed
into a well as we passed;
Moenie bang wees nie,
this too, shall pass us by –
like the many storms weathered
between you and I,
you will keep walking,
right here at my side,
and I shall abide.
Fast forward about twenty(ish) years from the day on the wharf when J was labeled a “sexual deviant” for the simple and innocent act of trying to keep the inattentive and tom-boyishly uncouth S’ dress from blow up during a wind gust. In hindsight, the deep shade and electrocuted expression on the poor bastard’s face has become one of J’s most treasured memories; and the mere thought of that specific moment in time is the source of multiple stomach muscle injuries as a result of hardy laughter. But as all things are between S and J, the circumstance was rather damning and getting more difficult by the second for J to navigate a way for it to end peacefully (not that any chance of a peaceful resolution hadn’t been thrown out the window the instant S made the dude’s junk into a necktie, but hey – she had to try).
J pushed the milkshake back over to S and maneuvered the straw into her mouth, seeing as how she was rather “tied up” just then; S took a big drink and let out the proverbial “post-Kool-Aid Ahhhhhhh” but remained like a statue otherwise. The girls both fell to staring at the man next to S at the bar – the man who’s nuts she’d mistakenly manacled as Darth Trump’s;
“You know what, S?”
J suddenly shrieked over the bar;
“I totally see it…”
S’ eyes shot like darts up at her friend’s endeared face as J examined the man’s visage with the intensity of scientist;
“You aren’t just saying that to make me feel better?”
J leaned closer to them;
“Tut Tut; I could’ve easily made the same mistake from behind, I mean look at that rodent carcass on his fat head!”
The man let out a short yelping sound as S and J broke out into maniacal laughter at the expression on his miserable face; and J gave him a exaggerated wink.
“What’s your poison, El Jeffe?”
She asked the question with a blatantly overdone Hispanic accent, juggling a few bottles in front of her cockily.
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