My Geeky Coffee

I like my coffee like I like my men:

detrimental to synaptic plasticity and long-term memory,

but conducive to short-term memory and attention span.

 

 

A Woman and Two Men.

It’s come to where I can’t help but to finally say,

after biting my tongue for two years’ worth of days,

over things ever done in the stupidest ways,

by the two gentlemen who I call my roommates;

 

the idiocy that shines through each one’s daily moves,

leaves me stuck there on stupid like gum on a shoe,

instead of applying any logic to the shit that they do,

they form a tempest of absurdity and sweep right on through;

 

it would kill either one to rinse his cereal bowl,

       before impetuously stacking them in a mile-high row,

right next to the sink where they good and well know,

that I will wash them in order to see out the kitchen window;

 

dirty camping trip laundry and mildewed swim trunks,

overflowing garbage cans that appear to have blown up,

my family room is littered with dollar bills and empty cups,

my back yard decorated with engine oil and cigar butts;

 

and, though I know it isn’t born of grandiosity,

and that my boys must suffer from what’s sheer stupidity,

neither one seems bothered by existing so confusedly,

one day attaches to the next with such mindless simplicity;

 

bottles left on the front porch step when the trash can is nearby,

things that make such little sense that I often want to cry,

toilet seat ever-up, missing socks, poison oak in both my eyes,

stains and spots, rotting apricots, and the associated flies;

 

they hardly wonder why people say that I mother them,

it’s like I live with two schoolboys, ages eight and ten,

any alternative to the drill is hard to let myself imagine,

and so, it goes, the side-show starring a woman and two men.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sapling.

What does this woman want?

She wants to be secure,

wants to be assured,

wants to feel beholden,

to bring warmth to the touch of her master;

And, what does the man want?

He wants to greedily admire,

wants to be twice as admired,

wants to burn eternal,

to forever sizzle within at the sight of his object;

The equation seems simple,

closeness shall draw the rest together, in turn,

a man and a woman are natural companions,

the admiration one holds for the other,

is not enough – has never been enough,

will never be enough to purge,

from the spirit of the man,

or from the soul of the woman,

the sapling that lies within the belly of both,

grown from the seed of Lust and Blood,

one, the child of Fear and Jealousy,

the other, born to War and Desire,

now together – now ripped at the seam,

the dark hours are the battleground,

on which we strike our most memorable,

and powerful of blows,

to behold the single rogue,

sweat drop as it defiantly rolls

from your brow down the bridge of your nose

and disappears in the corner of my eye, as usual.

 

Bubble Bath.

I thought you’d left while I was in the bubble bath;

So I paraded around sporting bitchy tits ‘n ass…

I wrapped myself up in your freshly washed towel;

telling myself I was glad that you were gone now…

Silly me; you actually never had gone anywhere at all;

I found you standing quietly with your mouth opened in awe …

Beads of sweat dot your head; a crown of liquefied guilt;

Swallowed whole – from all you know; desire you’ve never felt…

And when you see my red-ruby pouting start to pucker,

and sense how my insides tense;  you sexy mother-fucker…

Lick me clean of my tears – salted by such childish fears;

strike a match against the fuse between the filthy and the pure…

tonight I stroke your hidden side – that displaced face you always hide;

Allow me to perfect your view of how a good girl will abide…

you stood there, your hands wringing with intensity;

shirtless and hungry like a pre-meditative beast,

I was yours bendable expendable – that’s right,  wrapped up tight;

And you were yourself – an animal, ever-ready to bite…

the time became a sucking noise from the drain,

you manhandled my body and I hijacked your brain;

I’m glad you never left while I was in the bubble bath;

it’s sad to think about it now after so much time has passed.

.

 

An Imagined Recipe.

A death-metal, confused combination of
the disparate male persuasions that I love

mixed in with the grizzled and rugged things
are parts that define an eloquent masculinity

a mind running steadily through life’s equations
a heart beating heavily against Death’s invitations

a face holding pure semblance to any warrior king’s
and full of remembrance of all that it’s eyes have seen

his voice falls softly on the ears of those he holds dear
to his enemies, its sound connects itself wholly to fear

articulate and wise over that which this man presides
freedom’s very essence burns from deep behind his eyes

if the Gods perfected a man-brew for me specifically
built of a strange variation of what’s sexy to me

he’d fall somewhere between Batman and Matthew McConaughey
balanced by Prince Florizel, Dr. Silence and Sean Connery

his actions have no time to speak before they’re done
as he executes his moves without a word to anyone

he harbors the spirits of the most ancient beings
hardcore and savage like the lost warrior king

at the same time, he’s infused by intelligence
he writes poetry and plays musical instruments

a worldly perspective of all that he sees
the deepest of thought behind all he perceives

he can wield a battle-axe or calmly opt to speak
write a masterpiece in the timeframe of a week
this imaginary man would undoubtedly have to be
made up of Sherlock Holmes’ exquisite mentality

part DeNiro, part DiCaprio, with a dash of Dillahunt
Doc Hollywood, Shawnee Tecumseh and Timothy Olyphant

he’d never bitch or moan about irrelevant detail
he can drive, fly, swim, fight, think and hit a nail

he can wrench on an engine or write musical sheets
he can solve math equations in his deepest of sleep

he is not shy but has no need to stand out
he remembers things his mama told him about

he loves his Gods and hates universal ideology
some days he holds fast – sometimes, he sets free

he sings along with the tunes as they come to him
with words he replaces with singular improvisation

his nature is funny as Hell but warmly composed
high Native cheekbones and an aquiline nose

he would be made from varying traits and elements
pieced together like in a patchwork of history’s best

Thinking and Speaking.

In a small circle broken only by,
the tiny space by which hopefully, I,
will make an escape at the end of my –
musings made public in the blink of an eye;
I lift my sword and point now,
to you: hazel eyes, six-foot-two,
you know exactly what it will be,
that I naturally recall about you…
the way that your shimmering eyes –
were a mask covering so many lies –
and how those lies eventually outweighed any truth;

Now, on to the one right next to the first:
top lip’s so tight his mouth might burst,
your body language says that your brain works fine,
the stance of your stature doesn’t look so self-assured,
you have kept your ignorance segregated, indeed –
by everyone – especially women – quite successfully –
that crap works great in the military, so why not go, soldier?

And on to the next obliviously smiling wise guy,
born and bred from the blood of some godly divine,
I’ve known of dead animals with better morals than you,
sporting tattoos that belong only in the skin of dead swine,
your very breath reeks of poisonous hatred –
a desire to destroy what any other finds as sacred –
wretched: your kiss is of Sulfur and your touch is of brine.

Why???

Oh my fuck. Why? Why?

Ugggghhhhhh! Why?

Does Anyone Remember “The Opportunist”:

https://americanainjustica.wordpress.com/2014/05/21/rubbish/

https://americanainjustica.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/on-this-door-the-opportunist-knocks/

https://americanainjustica.wordpress.com/2014/04/13/do-not-mistake-my-weakness-for-kindness/

So I just received a text from him – out of the clear blue – after over six months of not a single word – that says:

Bambi,

I don’t know if you still hate me or not. I wish you didn’t. I think about you all the time. I’m so sorry for the way shit went down between us. You made me very happy while we were “together”. I should have told you more about what was going on in my life back then so that you didn’t have to draw your conclusions. So-and-so and I were just friends, still…and nothing else was ever going on between us like I’ve been told you were thinking. I should have reassured you when you asked me to and I’m sorry. I hope you are well.

Opportunist

WTF???!!